Howdy!
So today was an almost ordinary day. I spent the day in San Antonio with my family. The highlights were buying some new books and getting a haircut. I am very OCD when it comes to my hair. It has to be perfect. So I started going to a guy who works at Visible Changes and he always gets it perfect. I can not complain about any of it and love it, so that made my day extremely happy.
Other than that only emotions plagued my day. From stress from school to the guy, I felt haunted. So I know I rant about him a lot, but I really like him. Who know I might be head over heels for him (sure does feel like it). I still don't know how he feels though. Maybe he will read this and I will find out an answer. But I feel bad because I was told today that I am really like my Dad. Let's put it this way, my dad is full of himself and loves to cruelly cut down others verbally. I always figured I would be told this. For years I have known that I have a sharp tongue and have fought hard to overcome and muffle it. I feel like this might negatively affect the relationship between me and this guy because sometimes my texts can be a lot more sassy than I mean them to be.
Another thing is today is national coming out day. And I feel really bad because he came out and I still don't know where my feeling lie. I don't want to lead him on and hurt him.... I can say though he has really affected me differently then other guys. Since I have been here in college I have talked to and messed around with two other guys. I was attracted to neither physically nor emotionally. But with this guy (we will name him DB) has shot my emotions. I feel excited when I think about him and can't wait to see him again. I don't want to say whether I am gay, straight or etc, because I really do not know where I fall. If anything I would say bi, but I have no idea. Maybe DB will be the one who shows me who I am.
Until next time,
J
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